W h y ?

The only thing that I think these days is only my happiness of being single and also the uni life passed really smooth, I almost didn’t see the negative thing of being a uni student. No offense, new friends. new mates, new people never makes me regret. In the different state,  I am proudly saying that I’ve moved on from the past that has been haunt me for quite some times.

I should say that, that past has been quite a nightmare for me. That past is the love that I’ve had for 2 years, non stop, but then I realised that he’s not the one I could be proud of, so I’ve moved on and try to be a better man. But then, even there’s no expectation, love came. I can’t deny it. I realised, it’s something beautiful, but then when you have something in the past that you can’t even forget, how could you being a better man? That past never haunts me anymore, but the trauma you have … you will just never forget it. I don’t know but I’m just too scared. Oh God, but why should it come into my life?

I often ask about it to myself and I seek for the answers. I never know how could this trauma got into me.  I need a fast answer but for sure there is no answer that everybody gives to me. I try not to blame myself but then I blame myself again. Then when you come at a point when your friend told you that the person you like isn’t really into you. That was just hurt and you come back to remind all the things that make you scared, make you feel lonely.

I know that there will be something special for me in the end. I know that it’s only the beginning of the true life, but I need an answer for all my questions. I need a reason why do I feel this kind of  feeling. I’m just too curious to all of these.


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