At such you age, I left home for new experiences. I left Indonesia for France; had troubles, found love, found myself, found haters, found friends and best friends, and found families. They are merely the jewels and stones of my life.
I spoke to my best friend this afternoon, named Amanda. She is the girl I know from the Eurotrip we took when we were on exchange. She lives in Oregon and goes to Harvard. She is a great tough girl, with passion of music, languages, and travelling, more important she is one my international best friend. During the call this afternoon, we talked much about our Uni life which isn’t easy at all and last we talked about our exchange (Eurotrip) back in 2013 and les filles formidables (French term of the amazing girls). Les filles formidables is group of 10 girls from around the world (including me and Amanda) and on about July 2015, Amanda went into a sort of writing competition and she wrote about the group.Although she didn’t win the competition, the story itself is still amazing and drives me thinking about that badly amazing year.
I still remember the excitement when I got into the airport of Jakarta and about to leave Indonesia. I said goodbye to my parents and I felt kinda blue , so that my tears were pooled on my eyes; a happy and sad goodbye. When I arrived in France, everything seemed pretty well and I was pretty tired, so that I went straight to bed when I arrived at home. The first was hard. I cried for almost an hour, regretting what I just did. I regretted it really I don’t know why, but then I encouraged myself to live what I chose and growing into a better person.
Day by day passed and on the 2nd month I started feeling something weird. I didn’t even know my feelings and I felt that I was hated. I didn’t feel comfortable anymore with the situation inside the house; my host sister and host mom talked about me in the kitchen pretended that I didn’t know, but feeling got it well. They talked much about me, they said I was different and they said I was lazy to come out of my room, but then again I remained silent. Until January 2013, I fall while ice skating and I sprained my wrist. I was forced by doctor to wear bandage for 8 days and the second day the host mom was angry to me and said that I didn’t clean my room. If you think about this clearly, how can I do such cleaning things when my wrist was hurt. At that time, I found out that she was out of her mind and they (the mom and the daughter) hate me so much, until the day of Easter they told me that I should be thanked to them because they put me in their house instead of reject me. They told me that they wanted an American or Canadian in their house. I was angry, really angry! Yeah, I should thanked them but in this case there wasn’t any sincerity about they gave me place to live for a year. They told me to leave France because they felt that I didn’t learn the French habits and told me I was too homesick, but I moved!!! I MOVED FOR REAL!! I moved into another host families and another adventure began.
After I move into my second host family, I started the Eurotrip. Every exchange students in France wants to go to Eurotrip. Eurotrip is a trip around the biggest cities in Europe. I have done 9 cities in only 12 days. During the trip I met exchange students from all the corners of France. They are from all around the world; Canada, USA, Mexico, Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia, Bolivia, South Korea, Taiwan, Indonesia, and Japan. One thing that I couldn’t even forget. I met 9 amazing girls and they have their own character. They made me feel like I was at home already. The laugh, the singing together in our big bedroom, the going up on the Cathedral’s rooftop, the gondola ride, the searching for hidden bar so that we could drink beer secretly, the looking for gelato for almost everyday, and many things. Those things were done in only 12 days and I finally found a ruby of my life. They are family, they are home. (Those 9 girls are on photos and this is a group photo, half of the Eurotrip members).
The Eurotrip was done and I stayed with new host families (two exactly). One’s home was near the city centre. I often went out from home and went to the city centre, buying the freshest pain au chocolat or macarons. I was alone (not lonely) in the city and I found my happiness. I was always thinking about things that happened just a few weeks before. I smiled everytime I saw flower stall and I gave myself a time to see those beautiful flowers. The time I walked around the city, I found the revelation about life lessons. I knew that life sometimes would be unfair, but in the other time they paid it; you’ll find happiness. In the mean times, I also found my dreams. The dreams that you will struggle for.
Every tears that I spent there were only things that cause my happiness; people say no pain, no gain and it was true. I found loves, friend, best friends, families, experiences, and above all I found myself!! I have been losing it for years and I regained it again. Those discoveries were the rubies of my life and the tears, the pain are the stones of my life. Stones are the foundation of buildings, so that my tears, my pain are the things that build me up above as a stronger person.
This post is dedicated to my family in Indonesia; my host families and Rotarians in France and in Indonesia my best friend Kym, Léa, and Alexane; my one and only Les Filles Formidables; my dearly friends from District 1730, 3410, and 3420; my best friends in Indonesia; my professors in Lycée Costebelle and the principal; my friends in 1ère BTKA; and my friends from all over the world.